It's been awhile since I last blogged, I decided to take some much needed time away from social media to find myself again. The person I felt I was becoming (fearful, anxious, mad) definitely wasn't who I am, and not qualities I want to carry. I ran across a quote from an unknown author and thought it was worth sharing, it read:
"Ships don't sink because of the water around them, ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don't let what's happening around you get inside of you and weigh you down.”
WOW! How much of the weight (stress) that we are carrying around isn't even ours to be holding onto? Taking care of our health is so much more than the food we eat; we not only should be nourishing our body but our minds. Our mental health is heavily influenced by who we choose to have in our lives, and what we listen to and/or watch. We may not be able to control what is happening around us, but we can certainly control who/what we choose to be around.
In the last year I decided to make some pretty big changes. After 6 years as a probate clerk I made a compulsive decision to leave my job and start over new. I have let go of some family and friends along the way; it’s really unfortunate, but, sometimes you have to in order to protect your own mental health. I feel like I have always been that anchor for everyone, and I had to cut loose because I was sinking! Letting go doesn't mean I stopped caring, it just means that I have to do what I feel is best for me and my family; if I want to give my family the best version of me possible then I have to let go of everything weighing me down...trust me, that isn't always easy to do! But, I can honestly say that a huge weight has been lifted and I feel in perfect peace now.
I've also been focusing on my faith and spiritual growth. I honestly don't know how people get through each day without prayer; it is the one thing that gives me strength when I am weak. I've been TRYING to study the bible and use it as a guide on how I should be living my life. If I'm being honest, I'm totally just winging most things, all while praying for wisdom and guidance to help me along the way. In doing so, I ran across Galatians 5:22-23, it reads:
"The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."
The spirit refers to God and we are the fruit. So he expects us to be all of these things and the only way to be that is by letting go of everything that isn't that. This journey into self growth has definitely been hard, and I still feel I have a long way to go to become all that I want to be, but I feel that I'm on the right track!
The not so perfect me is strong willed and opiniated. Trust that I talk myself down a lot and lately I have been really good about turning the other cheek and keeping my mouth shut....BUT, i'm just not sure I can remain silent. I just do not understand how people think it's okay to express an opinion and/or their views; yet, if someone doesn't agree with them they are “bad” people, as if their views are wrong, or they aren't educated. YES, I'm going there!! I'm totally over this covid/vaccination/mask bullcrap! I've really tried to refrain from voicing my opinion about this because I truly wish to remain in perfect peace...but the amount of slander and hate coming from these differences in opinions is asinine!! The behavior of some is actually quite appalling. Since when did life come with a guide book and where does it say these opinions are right and those are wrong ? How did the world become so self centered?! I'm tring to understand how, in a world that is so "pro-choice" with this freedom to choose lifestyle (abortion, religion, gender selection, supporting violence), that we fail to see that the difference in opinion and views is that persons freedom to choose. It may not be your choice, but they have just as much rights and freedom as you...do they not? I have seen so many friendships and families destroyed over these differences in opinions, I have no other words for it other than it's just sad. In times like these I feel it's very important, especially as Christians, to lay your foundation and know what you stand for. 2 Timothy 4:3 says:
"For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine; instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear."
WOW, if that aint the truth! It is hard to discern ourselves between worldly things and Godly things, that is why my first pillar upon my foundation is faith. Of course to each their own, but as for me, I am not concerned about what the world thinks.1 Peter 4:19 says: "Trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you." So many people have lived in absolute fear within the last year. It has literally robbed them of living life. The amount of people experiencing mental health issues is higher than ever; where is this fear coming from?!? 2 Timothy 4:7 says: "God will never give you the spirit of fear." So if God isn't instilling this life halting fear, then where is it coming from? Can we agree that it is a problem that has been created by the world? Is it because of the mass hysteria the media is creating? Is it because we fear the unknown? Perhaps we are living in fear of dying, but why? J.C Ryle gave a great perspective about this when he wrote:
"People never reject the bible because they don't understand it, they understand it too well. They understand that it condemns their own behavior. They understand that it witnesses against their own sins, and summons them to judgment. They try to believe that it is false and useless, because they don't like to believe it is true."
We are definitely living in a time where people ignore the word of God but blame him in times of trouble (ex. where was God when so and so was dying; or, if there's a God then why wont he heal our nation of this virus?) Galatians 6:7-8 says:
"Don't be mislead, you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit."
Romans 1:17 says: "it is through faith that a righteous person has life." If 2020 left you living in absolute fear of death, or suffering from depression, or struggling financially, just know that Isaiah 30:18 says "the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help."
Yet so many in these times of trouble are turning to worldly things such as a vaccine, putting faith in science verse God (who created you). Romans 1:20 says "for ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities, his eternal power and divine nature; so they have no excuse for not knowing God."
I'm sure by now you are probably thinking how can you be so nonchalant about covid when so many have died? Or, you have young children, aren't you afraid of getting covid and possibly dying? I can tell you that there is NOTHING more that I want in this life than to be my children's mother, to have the opportunity to raise them and watch them grow up to become all that they are meant to be. But my spiritual growth has truly cast out all of my fears and anxiety's.
I do not know what my future holds, and quite honestly the unknown can be a bit scary. But Job 14:5 says "a persons days are determined. You have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed." Isaiah 14:27 also teaches us that nothing can stop what God has ordained. Therefore, faith tells me that my days have already been numbered and that if it is my time to die there's no escaping it. I can hide in my home from fear of this virus, yet could die while in my home, on my own couch, from a drunk driver crashing through. I could be driving the speed limit, wearing my seat belt and die unexpectedly in a car crash. I could be walking and struck by a stray bullet, or could be dining with my family at a restaurant and crushed by a car...at any given moment. Faith tells me that there is no escaping death when your end is here. I am not convinced that a mask or concoction of chemicals in a vaccine is going to save me, or you. If you feel differently then more power to you!
I'm sure that I'm probably going to be ripped to shreds by people who don't agree with me. You can even call me every name under the sun, throw out your opinions and statistics, but you aren't going to change my views. Do you even notice though that I'm not even really talking about covid, masks or vaxxing here? This blog is about so much more than that. I hope that if you're still reading this that you understand that I'm trying to bring awareness to a fallen nation. One that has been so overcome by fear that we have developed actual hate and inflicted violence upon others....all because someone perceives something differently. I'm honestly not trying to be an influencer. I'm not going to tell you your opinion is wrong, or to not wear a mask or vaccinate, you do what you feel is best for you and I’ll do what I feel is best for me. This blog is to remind you that every choice you make in life is totally up to you. If you aren't happy with where you are in life, then make different choices. Know what your pillars are, and don't let them fall because of what is happening around you. Isaiah 7:96 says: "If you don't stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." Don't let this world drag you down. 2 Corinthians 5:10 says
"For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil."
It doesn't say you'll be judged for what others around you are or aren't doing, you will only be judged for the choices you make, so choose wisely. The greatest commandment in the bible is John 13:34-35, it reads: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." There is no love in hate. If you are easy to anger and living full of hate than you have conformed to the standards of this world. Be careful how you perceive things. Isaiah 5:20 warns: "In the last days, good will be called evil and evil called good." 2 Timothy 3:1-4 also warns:
"There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not lovers of good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God."
Perhaps the fear that is causing such hysteria isn't the "pandemic" but the fact that the bible is literally playing out right before our eyes and we aren't ready to face the consequences of our actions. Joshua 1:9 wants to remind you "Be strong and courageous, do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." The bible also says to cast all of your worries onto the Lord, pray about everything and let your requests be known to God. If today you are living anxiously I hope you find peace.
If you are reading this and feeling angry toward me, be angry. Call me inconsiderate or selfish and accuse me for not considering others all because I don’t wear a mask. In reality, I don't wear one because it triggers migraines and I've done my fair share of suffering from those almost my ENTIRE life! I don't wear one because I don't feel they work. I don't wear one because I feel it's not going to save me from death if it's my time to die. I don't wear one because I've taken into consideration if you are wearing one and/or vaccinated you should be just fine. Whatever happened to freedom to choose? What happened to "our differences don't divide us?" Despite your opinion of me, I can tell you I actually care a lot about those around me. I can tell you that I truly want what's best for everyone and if I didn't I wouldn't be wasting my time writing. I can also tell you that I am married to the most selfless person I have ever met, he is so forgiving and understanding and always quick and willing to help ANYONE in need, without hesitation. So trust that if his views are different than yours he’s not going to treat you any different or hold that against you. How very lucky am I to have someone who supports me even if/when we don’t agree!?!
I'm obviously not concerned about how others perceive me. Worldly judgment is a problem created by the world and the people in it, it has nothing to do with me. I'm also not blogging thinking I'm better than you...I know I’m not perfect and that’s why I need Jesus. I'm also not setting and achieving goals to try and one up you, I'm simply trying to become a better version of me. Period.
Phil Roberson (from Duck Dynasty) said it best when he said "our culture has accepted two huge lies; the first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are non sense. You don't have to compromise convictions to be compassionate."
I could go on and on but this must eventually come to an end. But I cannot end this blog without quoting one of my all time favorite quotes from Mother Theresa: "People are often unreasonable and self-centered, forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives, be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you, be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous, be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow, do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough, give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God, it was never between you and them anyway."
If you're still reading this (I apologize for rambling), but I hope you have the courage to stand for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone. You may not agree with my views and that is perfectly okay, that is your freedom to choose not to; However, I ask for the same respect for me and my family that we give to you about your views as we exercise our God given rights too. Take time to yourself to reflect on your own life and ask yourself what do I stand for? As we finally return back to normal ask yourself which part of "normal" is worth going back to. At the end of the day the only life that you are going to be held accountable for is your own, so don't let what's happening around you influence you in a negative way. Lay your foundation, set your pillars and build that wall to defend yourself against anything that's blocking you from becoming all that you are trying to be. In this crazy world I truly hope that your learn how to find your peace.
-AMEN
