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God said “Let there be light” and there was light. He saw that the light was good and separated it from darkness.  Yet, there is so much darkness in this world, even while living in the light. As God divided night and day, should we too divide ourselves from darkness? Ephesians 5:15-16 says “so be careful how you live; don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days”.

As I’m quickly approaching thirty, I can’t help but be more reserved and observant (I know, you’re probably thinking “seriously? You are the most outspoken person I know”…but if only you knew the thoughts that I keep to myself, then you would understand!!) I can’t help but notice how reckless people live, especially within my generation! Literally, half of my generation don’t own a home, or have a savings (with at least 6 months of expenses set aside), a "5 year" plan (or any goals really), or work a decent paying job (if they even work at all). Instead, it seems like everyone is living a bachelor/bachelorette life style, living for the moment, partying like we’re in highschool, and living as if there are no consequences to their actions. I also can’t help but notice that it seems like pretty much everyone within my generation (up to at least 35) is divorced and just living like wild fools.  I certainly am not shaming anyone for remaining single, marriage and parenting isn’t always easy…but that is the reality of adulting, LIFE-isn’t-always-easy; but, it doesn’t mean just piss away your responsibilities and live recklessly, as if they don’t exist.  Is living like a naive teenager again going to make said responsibilities go away? They might by putting you in a grave; but otherwise, they will still be there tomorrow. I was somewhat warming up to the idea of being 30, just to get away from this “20 something” stigma; but, I am almost more embarrassed to be a part of this “30 something” generation. I always had the impression that growing up meant getting your life together; doing better because you know better…but instead, it’s the complete opposite. I guess that’s what I get for assuming. I feel as if I’m in high school again when with my general age group. It’s like all self respect and morals go out the door at 30.

This is America; you are free to choose how you live your life, but you certainly are not free from the consequences of your choices. Seriously, what has happened to our generation?! Everyone has become so self-centered!! Everything you do doesn’t just affect you, but all those who love and are around you. If you choose to disobey the law, the consequences will find you, and those charges WILL haunt you, forever; (job opportunities, others trust toward you and how people see you). Not only does it affect the way people see you, but everyone with your last name, your children and their reputation/future, and especially your parents. I know so many reckless, irresponsible adults and people automatically blame their parents…when their parents would do anything to help them, especially if that means helping them become successful and just a decent human being.

I am truly grateful I once had two great parents who were always putting our needs and wants first, who were prompt to discipline (because they loved us and wanted us to do better than how we were behaving).  They were for sure my parents first, but they were also my best friend. They never forced us to think or act a certain way, but they provided constructive criticism and guidance along the way. I miss my dad dearly. My entire family fell apart after he died, literally. You truly don’t know the impact death can have on ones family until you’ve lived through it. Sometimes it’s hard to appreciate all that you have until it’s gone. I was always very close with my dad and never imagined such a short life with him. With God as my rock, I survived his death better than I expected (I honestly didn’t know how I could live without him). The reality is you never really stop grieving…you just deal with it because you don’t have a choice. My dad busted his ass to provide for his family. He was very humble, always willing to help anyone. He was a father figure to so many and was so funny...but he was also the man that could kick someones ass if he had to. He was such a kid at heart (in a non reckless way); you better believe there was always a game of pool being played, or a volleyball match going down in the pool…or an intense game of wii bowling happening. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have those days back. I miss the way I use to laugh…I am living a happy and blessed life, but I still feel this void that won’t go away and I just don't feel the same. I wouldn’t wish death upon my worst enemy, but the imperfect Christian within me is angry. I can’t help but think that my dad should be alive and those who live such a foolish/reckless life should be dead. Unfortunately that is life; it is not fair. The reality is that no one, at any age, is promised tomorrow. Isaiah 14:27 says “nothing can stop God’s plan for your life”. If it is your time to die there is no escaping it…so if we’re not promised tomorrow, then why live life recklessly as if there will be a tomorrow? If you died today…how would you be remembered? Does that thought make you proud? If you died tomorrow leaving young children, and/or a spouse…what would they say about you? Would it be "Dad never had time for us; he was always with his friends. He never really played with me, or took me fishing"; or would they say "my dad was a great dad, he always played with me and told me he loved and was proud of me…I miss him so much". And what about you mom? Are you the mom who always yells because you are tired and just want to be left alone…or despite the fact that you are tired, do you make time to play, or snuggle…to kiss boo-boo’s and create precious memories? Life is so short. Once it’s gone you will never have the opportunity to say or do all of the things “you didn’t have time to do”. There comes a point in life where you have to stop living with excuses and make time for what really matters. IF it is important to you…you will make time for it. And if you treat it like it’s not important to you…someone else will. Perhaps you have been living with your priorities out of whack...if you are alive today it's not to late to start over. Although it was short, I am thankful I had 21 years with my dad. I truly never took that time for granted; and now since the only thing I can do is look back, I am truly happy for all the time I got to spend with him.

I feel really bad for kids now days. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of good families out there; but, it seems like there are twice as many reckless or unloving homes. I’m constantly seeing children taken under guardianship because their parents chose a party life style, and/or drugs, over them. It’s almost as if their parents failed them by bringing them into this world…some kids literally don’t even stand a chance! My heart truly breaks for them. One doesn’t know the trauma some of these children experience until you have been involved in rescuing them, or relived what they went through by reading about it in a probable cause statement. It seems to be a vicious cycle; same family offenders. Just know, you aren’t your parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/siblings/friends. Perhaps they live recklessly; have a partying and/or drinking/drug problem. Perhaps they chose buying alcohol/drugs over paying bills so you were always moving from home to home, continually being evicted. Perhaps you’ve gone hungry, or without electricity because of their addiction; the thought of that next high consumed every aspect of their life to where they felt that was more important than providing basic necessities to their family. Sadly, children often don’t see this way of life as wrong. A child born into this lifestyle can’t distinguish that it is wrong because it may be all they’ve ever known. Regardless if mom/dad beat or molested them…that may be the only mom/dad they’ve ever known and they love them because that's their mom/dad. The love of a child is unfailing, so why do parent's continually fail their children? 

At some point in life, the child who was failed will learn what is right and wrong. They may choose to live the reckless life style their parents are living because it's the only life they have ever known; but at some point,  they will have to take responsibility for their actions. There's a saying that goes "once you know better, do better". At some point in life, you will have to let go of all the excuses that you have made for your wrong doing. At the age of 18 you are legally considered an adult and are responsible for your own actions. It doesn’t matter anymore how you were (or weren’t) raised. It doesn’t matter what your family and/or friends are doing. It doesn’t matter how long you have been living this reckless lifestyle…at some point in life YOU have to own up and take responsibility for your actions and break that cycle. The only person who can stop that life style is YOU. Do you want your kids to live the life that you lived? Strive to give them the life/future you didn’t have. Every choice you make now effects your AND THEIR future…think about that. 

Never forget that on any day, your whole life can change, forever. Life is short, no one is guaranteed tomorrow. Sometimes freak accidents happen; but, often times bad things happen as a consequence of the actions you chose to participate in. In my opinion, the one who suffers the most through addiction, and/or recklessness, is children. They are robbed of their peace of mind and safety. You as a parent are supposed to be their safe place…but you can’t be that if you’re coming off a high, or out drinking and driving, putting them in danger. If you die from the result of your reckless life style, your children are FOREVER living with the consequences of YOUR actions. All they will have are the memories you chose to create with them…if their lucky enough to remember them. If not, then all the will have is the memories that others choose to share with them. Will those be good memories? "Your mom/dad loved you so much s/he would do anything to still be here….matter of fact, they are always with you…they will be cheering you on from heaven when you hit your first home run, etc." Hopefully they can share memories of mom/dad always tried. Maybe s/he worked 2 jobs so you would never be without; despite how tired s/he was they read to you every night. They taught you how to play baseball, and fish, and how to ride a bike. Or will the stories be your mom/dad was wild, s/he loved to party. S/he enjoyed being with their friends. You might not have many memories with him/her, but s/he was a good person and loved you too. Regardless of the relationship you have with your child/parents, if you are living today, God has given you another day to live your life to the fullest; make the best out of today because tomorrow may never come. Just know when you are out wasting your life away being reckless, someone elses life may be wasting away. That person may be a great person, never doing anything wrong. Perhaps they were robbed of their life from cancer; their family has prayed endlessly, yet nothing can stop what God has ordained. Their life may be over, but yours isn’t. Tomorrow is a new opportunity to make a change, to stop taking life for granted.

Statistically speaking, reckless lifestyles, such as drinking and driving, claim the lives of roughly 10,000 people a year. The sad truth is that often those who die in accidents related to drinking are completely innocent (just like me, when I was 5, sitting on the couch in my own home, when a drunk driver came crashing through, going 70 mph…only my story has a happy ending. God gave not only me, but the driver, a second chance at life...and as far as I know he turned his life around). OVER 40,000 people die per year from drug overdose/abuse. In 2017 alone, over 70,000 people died from drug overdose. Drug abuse does not just affect the user, but their children, parents, siblings and friends. NEVER are they alone. They may feel alone, or want to be left alone, only caring about their next high…but they are never in the fight alone. EVERYONE who loves them is on that roller coaster ride along with them.  The fight is never over until it ends in death or sobriety…and more often than not it ends in death. I guarantee your parents will never stop fighting with you about your wrong doing because-they-love-you. They know you are a good person and they know that if you want to, you can overcome this monster that has consumed you. Deuteronomy 30:19 says “I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore, choose life.” Unfortunately there’s only so much you can do to help someone, they have to willingly want to change. Letting go is not easy. One truly does not know the meaning of grieving until you have grieved the loss of someone who is not yet dead.

Sometimes, there comes a point when you have to let people go…not because you don’t care about them…but because they don’t. When someone truly cares, they want what’s best for you. They pray for and root for you, hoping you achieve all of your goals and wildest dreams. If your “circle” is not critizing you for your recklessness, or pushing you to become the best version of yourself that you could possibly become…how can you say that they are for you? I don’t know who wrote it, but I once read a quote that has stuck with me forever, it said “Ships don’t sink because of the water around them…ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” I felt that. Eventually, being around people who choose to live so recklessly will eventually drag you down with them. Whether it be mentally, or into the reckless life style that they are living. Proverbs 13:20 warns “walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” You may not be able to change how the people around you act, but you can choose the people you are around...And I know that is easier said than done. I’m constantly reminding myself that good people sometimes make bad choices, and that does not mean that they are a bad person…but the disappoint is still there, and it hurts! There is no greater pain than watching someone who was once such a good person dwindle away into a reckless human being. I have cut many good people out of my life, simply because the life they are living is basically my life in reverse...and I’m not headed that way anymore, and don’t want to be held back from my own goals.

There is no such thing as a perfect person. In life we all make mistakes…but continually doing things as if there are no consequences is not a mistake, but a choice. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says “do not be misled; bad company ruins good character”. The reality of this blog may just be that I am an honest asshole…but, someone, somewhere, needs this to be their sign from God; this is your wakeup call. I am willing to sacrifice pissing off and/or offending many to save just 1 person from a reckless life of regrets. Never forget that the consequences of your actions never just affect you, but ALL of those who care for you. Proverbs 15:31 says “to be counted among the wise, you must learn to accept helpful criticism”.  Sometimes the honest truth hurts and will piss you off…but eventually, it will set you free. A.W Tozer wrote “to be entirely safe from the devil’s snares, the child of God must be completely obedient to the word of the Lord. The driver on the highway is safe, not when he reads the signs; but when he obeys them.”  1 John 5:21 says “dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts”….often times these things are people within our very “circle”. It won’t be easy to let go, but letting go doesn’t mean that you stop caring for them. At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life. If they are meant to be in your life, God will cause you to cross paths again in some way. So I guess for many this is goodbye. I plan to take time away to evaluate my life and who I choose to have in it. I certainly don't feel that I am better than anyone, or have any hard feelings...I just can't continue to live a positive life when associated with so many who act like fools. I don't know who wrote this quote either, but it also has stuck with me over the years and it said "you can't pour from an empty cup". Take care of yourself so that you can be all that God created you to be...not for yourself, but for those who are counting on you.